THE GREATEST EVER EVER THINGS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE – EVER
WE LOVE IT!
Top Ten Greatest Books Of All Times
by Greta Rose
Not In Order
Top Ten Horse Breeds
by Sarah M.
For their grace, elegance and agility.
For their beauty, poise and endurance.
For their presence, muscle and beauty.
For their poise and athleticism.
For their personality and stamina.
For their strength, personality and charm.
For their endurance, personality and style.
8. Quarter Horse
For their all round ability.
For their stye and elegance.
For their all round style and athleticism.
THE LAMEST OF LAME THINGS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE – INCLUDING ANY PARALLEL UNIVERSES THAT MIGHT ALSO EXIST
WE HATE IT!
Top Ten People I Would Personally Like to Send into the Stratosphere
by George HJ
1. Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana
Because (a) she can’t even sing and (b) she is just another manufactured pop artist that is only in the music industry for the money.
2. Nick Griffin
Because of all of his racist / utterly stupid comments.
3. George Bush
Because of his lie that he was invading Iraq because they had ‘weapons of mass destruction’, when actually it was for Oil
4. Tony Blair
The same reason as George Bush but also because of his recent speech saying it was to stop them making weapons of mass destruction – FAIL
5. John and Edward
Because such a big deal has been made out of them, when really they are just two talentless kids with massive spiked up hair.
6. D.J. Kasper
Because of his song – D.J. Kasper Slide
7. Dappy from N-Dubz
Na Na Nii…Bang! Because of his rubbish catch phrase Na Na Nii and his hat that is always halfway off his head.
8. The Jonas Brothers
Because of their contract with Disney, and the same reason as Hannah Montana – just a manufactured band who are just interested in making money.
9. Katie Price aka Jordan
Because of the massive deal that has been made over her break up with Mr. Andre.
10. Chris Brown
Because he tries to act innocent but in the meantime goes and beats up Rihannah, and then tries to act innocent again!
Top Ten Worst TV Programmes Ever
by Aidan S.
1. What Katie Did Next
But I never cared about what she did in the first place…
2. What Peter Did Next
Oh please! And you don’t have to watch the show to know exactly what he did next – he squeezed as much money as he could out of a trivia obsessed media and a gullible public despite having no obvious talents whatsoever. Ditto above
3. Wife Swap
Time for everyone involved to go and look for another job – preferably outside of television making
4. Fat Families
Did I miss the meeting when it was decided that culture was to be flushed down the toilet? Because this programme is broadcast from the bottom of the pan.
5. The Jeremy Kyle Show…
Whilst this one is blocking up the sewage pipes.
6. Big Brother
One of the programmes that started the rot – billed as an interesting insight into human behaviour…yeah, right!
7. Are You Smarter Than a 10 Year Old?
Errrrrrr…is no the right answer?
8. X Factor
Such a tragedy that the last winner missed out on the Xmas number 1 – well it ruined my Christmas
9. Relocation, Relocation, Relocation
Yes go! Relocate to another planet, Relocate, Relocate
10. Embarrassing teenage bodies
Why? Can someone please tell me why?
Top Ten Most Annoying Celebrities
by Olivia C.
She performs for a racist man’s son, for millions, this is soon followed by the Haiti earthquake. She should be forced to give the money to Haiti.
2. Hugh Grant
He has creepy eyes and he’s a c..p actor who is always in the same boring rom coms with the same boring format – man, woman, fall in love, break up, get back together again…we didn’t see that coming Hugh!
3. Katie Price
She’s always on the front cover of all the magazines but she is so tacky. Also she’s dyed her son’s hair blonde already and put make-up, including false eyelashes on her 2 year old daughter – let them be children!
4. Ray Quinn
He’s slimy and everyone says he’s good looking! Is there something I am missing here? He just looks plain weird to me.
5. Joe McElderry
The only reason he won the X-Factor was becasue he was in Cheryl’s group and Simon fancies Cheryl…blah blah blah. Pretty boy with marginal talent.
6. Cheryl Cole
She sucks up to Simon on the X-Factor and she can’t sing! Everyone talks about her as if she is some sort of singing genius and yet when she performed ‘Fight for this Love” on the X-Factor she didn’t even sing it live and then she sits there judging contestants who do perform live
7. Paddy McGinnis
He talks down to women on Take Me Out and it’s like he’s some kind of amazing person – well, he isn’t!
8. Colleen Rooney
Claim to fame? Married to a footballer – well done! An airhead.
9. Brangellina (Brad Pitt / Angelina Jolie)
They adopt all those children from the third world. I mean come on! They’re celebrities – they’ll be splitting up by the next edition of OK magazine.
10. Dizzee Rascal
He really does love himself! That performance at the Brits with Florence, from Florence and the Machine. OMG! He just basically ignored her, pushing her out of the whole thing – poor Florence…